WIDOWHOOD

Since becoming a widow I've become more introspective... I've learned things about myself…such as that we somehow manage to do what we gotta do and do things that we never thought we could do.. It makes me feel sort of like a 'survivor'.

I‘ve always been a people watcher, I notice behavior and mannerisms like never before. It's as if I'm looking at the world through someone else's eyes, which I find to be neither good nor bad, but different and interesting.

Have not joined a bereavement group yet and only a couple of widows have discussed widowhood with me because I've been so busy trying to get my life back on track.

After spending so much time on the phone dealing with companies such as phone companies, banks, etc. their employees made me wonder, if I were connected to the customer service or the customer hassle department. I don't think it was personal. I think they treat all callers the same...with rudeness and indifference.

Subconsciously I’ve always felt protected and safe, but much to my surprise and dismay...with my Hero gone...for the first time that I can ever remember, I feel vulnerable, even though my Daughter and Grand daughter are living with me.

After many have suggested that I do so...I've begun journaling which I find quite similar to blogging.

Now that I'm not being driven everywhere and now ride the buses, I've had the pleasure of meeting some really nice ladies here in our community...whom I don't believe I would have met, had my circumstances not changed.